Up-Date

One waiting game ends, and another begins…

All went according to plan this morning. Mandy went into surgery around 8:00 AM and the next eleven hours will now be spent in prayer, meditation, distraction, and frustration as I wait to see her tonight after the operation.

This honestly doesn’t feel ‘real.’ I sit in a non-descript family waiting room, pedestrianly appointed with the requisite blue fabric chairs and couches supported by wooden frames. Back issues of TIME, Good Housekeeping, and Sports Illustrated are strewn across the coffee and side tables that dot the perimeter of the room. The walls are lined with the ubiquitous and indispensable waiting-room watercolors of calming ocean scenes, flowers in vases, and bowls of fruit.

I can’t help but to notice the families around me. Several spouses, sons, and daughters of patients wait alone. Some pockets of the room contain larger family gatherings- generations who have come together to offer strength and support. Regardless of who or what brought us all here today- it’s safe to say that we would all rather be somewhere else. Perhaps the exception being the children who lay on the floor entertained by coloring books and portable DVD players, blissfully ignorant to the broader context of life and death that surrounds them.

I finally cried earlier today. It felt good; the eruptive release after working so hard to be strong for Mandy over these past eight weeks. Not that I have been walking the earth devoid of emotion since the diagnosis, but rather, my energy has been intensely focused on Mandy: her needs, her feelings, her fears. Today, as the nurse wheeled her away and the heavy glass doors closed behind her, I felt my own pain.

I find resolve and put my faith in the laws that govern our universe. While I’ve struggled with my familiar childhood creed over the years, I still feel intimately connected with God. If there were a box to check for religion, I would check the one that most closely represents the notion of “Work In Progress.” Nonetheless, I have felt the power of prayer in my life and I believe that God puts us in situations that we can shoulder, despite how heavy. Moreover, we draw strength from these experiences where our humanity is stripped down to its core. This feels like one of those times.

Thank you all for reaching out with your prayers and support. We feel blessed to have such caring and compassionate people in our lives. Here’s to a day of seeking the joy of being alive.

Yours,

Dave